Cover Letter
To whom it may concern,
I am an individual with a background in teaching, human resources, and retail management seeking employment in a field that will provide me with new challenges, as well as opportunities to engage my creative abilities.
There are a few things that you should know about me. I did not move to Nashville to pursue my musical dreams. This benefits you as a prospective employer in several ways. I will never ask you or any of my fellow employees to come see my terrible band play. I will never ask you for time off to go on a “summer tour”. I will never make flyers for an artist showcase on a company copy machine, nor will I leave said flyers on company bulletin boards or strewn about company break room tables.
I have an exhaustive knowledge of film and television. Some have called it nauseating.
I can recite the alphabet backwards.
I can type 60 words per minute. 65 if the wind is at my back.
SIGNIFICANT ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
I once won a spelling bee. I think that that was 4th grade.
National Honors Society-- inducted spring 1997
SAT scores-- 720 math, 720 verbal
Centennial Scholar-- Lee University
Kappa Lambda Iota-- History Club, treasurer-- Fall 2003
Semester in Cambridge Study program-- selected for Spring 2003
Phi Alpha Theta-- National History Honors Society, inducted Fall 2003
Completed Masters Thesis titled “Driving a Pinto with a Mustang in the Garage: Exploring Issues of Underachievement.”-- Summer 2005
INSIGNIFICANT ACCOMPLISHMENTS
First customer ever at the Taco Bell on Keith St. in Cleveland, TN (after they tore it down and rebuilt it).
Achieved life goal at the tender age of 23, when I stayed alive long enough to see the Boston Red Sox win a World Series.
Assistant Editor/Columnist, Target Tyrone Times, co-authoring the piece “Preparation H: The ‘H’ is for Hurricane”.
Holder of 5 of 6 first place spots on the trivia machine on the bar at Beef O’Brady’s, Cleveland, TN. I just couldn’t crack the food and wine category.
Please take a look at my attached resume and feel free to read some of my writing samples at http://tylereperron.blogspot.com/
As a former employer of Tylere's (and the Editor in Chief/Astrology Columnist for the Target store 1023's Tyrone Times) I want to take this opportunity to advise you to hire him. He will astound you with his random knowledge, edit your memos as though they were something someone might actually read, proofread your newsletter with no expectations of actual readership, make you laugh, be early every day (seriously, very early), and impress you with his old fashioned greatest generation style work ethic. I am not making any of this up. Email me at vanmccourt@gmail.com for a proper reference.
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